Celebration Satirist Pillows

Chinese dragon in the men's room

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"Of course, I'm willing to negotiate. . ."

"I'd like to have a word with you about this spirit animal."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

Alabama Traffic Jam

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"I hate weddings. They make me feel a momentary lapse of cynicism."

Macho Vegetarian

Latest Aye Phone

'Celeb Foods: Damien Hurst's voles in brine.'

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

"Wait a minute! This is a copy of 'TV Guide.' "

'Come in, Jordan - your time is up.'

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

Marriage Returns

"This is all so ARBITRARY!"

Queen's final visit to Australia: 'STrewth! Chack anatha prawn on the barbie Phil..'. Charles 'Apparently, the Aussies insisted on a few conditions..'

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

Peace Negotiator now available for Weddings, Funerals, Christenings, Barmitzvah

"In an effort to avoid controversy, and to accommodate our attention spans, we will be replacing the commencement speaker with fortune cookies."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'On second thought, maybe we should see other people.'

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

"It's an epic saga of a tier 1 girl and a tier 3 boy who fall in love without their families' consent."

'No, the answer is: d ) All of the above.'