Celebration Critic Pillows

"Food as metaphor for love? Again?"

'I don't care if he drove in the winning run. On this team, we slap high fives or bump fists. We do not plant wet ones right on the lips.'

Lesbian civil partnership.

Champagne

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).

Cardiac Recovery.

The americanisation of vulture.

Kritik's Korner

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Fred's had too much to drink - now he's hitting on that old coat rack."

"Ron didn't realise he was so popular."

celebrating a birth.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Let's Celebrate

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

Armageddon

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

Prosecco Peacock

Prosecco

Un ballo in maschera

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Jumping Man

Nick Cave

Mime Baby

Bad gifts

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

With Compliments

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Westminster: The after-party