Celebrity Culture Critics Pillows

'My client wasn't going to keep the money, Your Honor - He only robbed the bank to get on a reality show.'

'Saddam today refused to answer any questions unless he's represented by a 'celebrity lawyer' such as F. Lee Bailey or Johnnie Cochran...'

"First, we tell everybody that you're in rehab. I'll take it from there."

"What makes you think Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, and all that bunch are so happy?"

New Scientology Church

This is the Ask Sadie Show. We're back with a caller whose house burned down while he was being diagnosed with gout. There is a silver lining: at least you're not a muscle-bound oaf or his puny celebrity-obsessed sidekick. Both Randy Taylor and Rudy Park are world-class disappointments, so they shall remain nameless so as to spare their poor mothers the humiliation. Not cool, Sadie. Not cool. We're famous!

'We come from the planet Celebrity. Do you want our autographs?'

'It's s**t from the rear of the year.'

'Remind me...Why does Paris Hilton exist?'

Disgraceland - Elvis lying dead by the toilet.

Keira Knightley

"Don't you want to be famous? Jump!"

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

"Apparently it's for celebrities only."

The height of fashion in 1796

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Kritik's Korner

'You did turn the company around... but we liked it the way it was...'

The americanisation of vulture.

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"Say 'eh.'"

Armageddon

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Giant Monster in Bath

If humans instead of dinosaurs had lived when the big asteroid hit.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"Sir, a bunch of bald-headed, castrated humanoids wearing Nikes just materialised with their luggage back there."

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

Unlikely Couples #136: Jim and Sheryl Crow

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Now that was post-modern sex."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."