Tv Culture Critics Pillows

'I've been selected to take part in the Nielsen ratings!'

'Welcome to the new reality show. Who's the real-life whistle-blower?'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Can't Touch This

Giant Monster in Bath

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

Snow White and her Seven people.

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

'Every TV show seems to have a lucrative phone-in competition these days.'

A slow Day on the Rolling News Channel

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

'Do you want to watch the weather/natural disaster channel, the nuclear proliferation channel, or the gun violence/Kennedy assassination channel?'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Meet John Henderson. - The only journalist NOT to have interviewed serial killers in prison...

"You don't have to answer that."