Tv Critic Pillows

Difference of Opinion

The Freudian Slip Shop.

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

'Even I didn't realize it was a disease.'

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

'Frankly, I'd expected rather more from interactive television.'

Print media strikes back.

'I decided to come in today, Sir - There's nothing good on the T.V..'

TV - Please stand buy. We've run out of ideas.

Though hesitant at first, Hank orders the 'Watching Paint Dry Network' offered exclusively through his satellite provider.

Cable / Satellite / Digital TV "Still nothing on TV."

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

Reality show pitch

'Of course they argue about petty things and make stupid decisions. That's why I say Congress should be a TV reality show.'

'Notice they never speak in tongues when they're asking for money.'

"I hate these 'fly-on-the-wall' type documentaries...they're nothing like real life...!"

'My marriage started out as a sitcom, developed into a soap opera, and then was cancelled.'

"I love these confessional shows"

Hypnotist - "You are going into a deeeep sleeep"

"The drama contains scenes of human decency and goodness which some viewers may find unusual."

'They're taking this viewer content thing too far.'

'This is a talk show, buddy -- put the gun down!'

'These soaps always kill off people to improve ratings!' 'Hey! Why don't they kill of the writers?'

Truly Educational Children's Programming

'They'll give a reality show to any obnoxious person nowadays.'

'This is so unreal, it must be reality television.'

'Well, I don't think it's the best show I've seen in weeks!'

"A poll of New York City voters indicates that the topic they're most concerned with is the British monarchy."

'I'm glad to say I've never been influenced by the violence.' 'Too bad, though, about the sex.'

'Let's not waste out time watching this show. It has no redeeming value. I'll record it.'

'Man... I wish I could zap off THIS nasty program!'

"Forget the reality in our reality shows. We need better scripts."

"Back to celebrity shows, chat shows, endless TV repeats and adverts - you must think I'm mad!"

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Four thousand dollars later and there's STILL nothing to watch!