Cattle Ranger Gifts

'Well Cookie. . . it looks like some horse droppings, cattle droppings, some tumbleweeds, barbed wire and parts from an old wagon. . . What the heck do you call it??'

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

A cow ventriloquist.

Ranch Dressing

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"Fast forward to the part where you herd me."

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

They're Brazillian!

Zoom Rodeos

Shepherd

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."

"Oh, God, it's the Herefords, pretend we don't see them."