Cattle Ranger Gifts

'Well Cookie. . . it looks like some horse droppings, cattle droppings, some tumbleweeds, barbed wire and parts from an old wagon. . . What the heck do you call it??'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Sorry, but I'm arresting you for being in possession of an endangered wild coho salmon.'

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

Camping with Mr. Thorough

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

How Do You Like My Moseying Along?

A cow ventriloquist.

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

Ranch Dressing

'How can anyone seriously believe that we sleep standing up and with our eyes open ,,,, Hello'

"I prefer the mountains to the beach. I feel like less of a cow.''

A Modern Day Cowboy and his Horse.

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"Fast forward to the part where you herd me."

Shepherd

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'I told him that's where we keep the keys to his ride.'

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'

Raccoons! Single file into the crate! Snake! Back in your hole! Crickets! Keep it down! Animal Control Freak.

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

They're Brazillian!

Zoom Rodeos

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Name tag's up here, Ma'am - I'm from the Cattlemen's Delegation.

"Listen honey, I don't claim to be no expert but I reckon you're going about this cowpuncher thing the whole wrong way."