Cattle Caregiver Gifts

'I think he's got a bad case of Bluetooth Disease.'

'Hi, Doc! I don't think I'm going to need you after all....'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

Dog on man's stair lift

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'

And you will know it has all be worth it when he's up and about again.

"This is why I want you to remember the three most important words in the world: spay, neuter, adopt."

'The vet said that getting spayed might hurt a little. But having nine puppies hurt a little, too.'

'Will you be wanting this?'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'You knew all the time that we were inseparable.'

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

A cow ventriloquist.

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

Rex the Dog.

The Shepherd's Staff. . .

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'...OK so you've got the herd mentality... now go out tere and be a herd... now move!'

'I'm going to dispense a case of reducing diet for her....

Free Range Cows.

'You see, Doctor, we've never had any children...

'We complete each other...'

'Despite her numerous advanced degrees, Dr.Bessie couldn't keep her mouth from watering.'

Shepherd

"OK, so just to recap: Small bowl is you, big bowl is me."

Listen, they're all the same - It's ok if they touch each other.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

I'm going to tell you what I tell all my patients: Take more walks, get more sleep, and it wouldn't hurt to yell at the mail courier once in a while.

Man wears shirt: 'I Love My Cat' Woman wears shirt, 'I spade my Dog'.

The first stock exchange - 'It's agreed then, one of my Longhorns for one of your holsteins.'