Cattle Inkster Gifts

Tattoo Roundup

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

Motorherd

"They’re real."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

Pull the udder one

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"You're wondering why I've called you here."

We come in pieces!

'Mama! Aliens.'

Moo! OOM!

"Kind words help the dairy cow produce good milk. They go in one ear and out the udder."

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Sorry, I thought you said you wanted to see 'Parrot Normal Activity'

'I'm about to die and now I realise I have REALLY BAD breath!'

World of Cow.

'The first day on the job was not going well for Al...'

Grass: We lost some good men today!

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

Farmer Pickles hated it when the cows hummed Darth Vader's theme tune.

When Farmer Harry Met Farmer Sally.

"It's like the other ones! I saw a shark! I saw a shark!"

'Your barn door's open.'

"What do you mean, we don't have an 'exit strategy'?!"

Therapy for the cow dependent

The Cud Food Guide

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

YAAY! Slam dump!

'With a herd of three cows it doesn't take long for inventory, does it, Dad?'

'Oh, shut up!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!