Catnip Connoisseur Gifts

'I only use catnip for medicinal purposes.'

'So that we can have a productive meeting, please turn off all phones and put away any catnip toys.'

"That's the catnip channel. We had to take it to get the cheese channel."

"A kitten for your thoughts."

"... and just a pinch of catnip for Oscar."

"MOUSE FLAVORED CAT FOOD"

"You ever heard of microdosing?"

'Okay LB... I'll call you next week and we'll do catnip.'

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

'About last night...that wasn't me talking, that was the catnip.'

'Well, I never! Charles, you didn't tell me this was going to be a catnip party!'

"Good evening. My name is Puddin', and I'm a catnipoholic."

"I put catnip on my homework. I think he'll eat it!"

"He says he can quit anytime, but I'm starting to worry."

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

Sign at vet's says 'Cat's waiting area'. Cat says to dog with head in cone: 'Oi, mate, can't you read?'

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

"Can you come back next week? He's napping."

"Such a refreshing day...I've spent 18 hours between napping and comatose."

Thug life on safari.

Cat puts off paying gas bill, to sleep longer...

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"Here comes the quote unquote dog whisperer."

Cat protests, with sign reading 'Legalise catnip!'.

Cat's golfing with a ball of yarn.

'Uh-oh, Ben's making his move on Goldie's food again.'

"Excuse me, but I'm the only one who opens cans around here!"

"What the?! Have you read about the Schrodinger's cat paradox? That's really twisted dude!"

"It's only the wind."

Two cats are high off catnip.

Stand-up comedy while you're away at work. 'What's the deal with fetching? ...And they expect you to run and go get it, so why did they throw it in the first place?' 'Ha! Ha! It's funny because it's true!'

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Kitty stoners.

'Hmmm, the 27th you say... Yes, I'm away that day, so I guess it's OK for you to play...'