Catholic Educators Gifts

Vatican Reforms

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

Campaign for Plain English

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Church Library - Pop-Up Books

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"If this Goliath bloke is as big as they say, I can just hang around the forest until he's gone."

". . . I called this meeting to communicate that I had dinner Noah..."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

The Evolution Of Man.

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

Noah's ark, many lions

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

"Perhaps if you guys just swam along behind us for a while."

Caption Contest TK

Moses as a child.

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

"So, if the Pope is pious, what kind of pie is he... apple?"

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Bible Bloopers

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

"And if all else fails, wave your arms frantically."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'