Catholic Gifts

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Father Ted Hughes.

'Is it for your wife or your girl friend?'

'I feel at peace, Father, knowing my enemies & tormentors will burn forever in hell!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'...and another thing, Holy Father, do we call them the 'Falklands' or the 'Malvinas'?'

Conclave.

John Newman

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'My God - there's two of 'em!'

'You think you're pretty humble, don't you?'

'Peter, this is Holy Cross School, not Holy Gross!'

Pope Francis

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

A friar

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

At home with the Pope.

Pope Francis

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Pope Benedict at Easter

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

God is dead.

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

Some catholic like it hot

'All right - which country in Europe are you from?'

"Think about it. Have you ever seen an ugly cardinal—I mean, except at the Vatican?"

I'm not pontificiating, am I?

Death of the pope.

Henry Manning

'Which father is the father?'