Concerned Catholic Gifts

Air for the Pope.

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

'That ISN'T the way to keep the Mass to an hour.'

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

'...and another thing, Holy Father, do we call them the 'Falklands' or the 'Malvinas'?'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

Fitness in church.

"Never go to a church during a hurricane. They only provide shelter from taxes."

'My God - there's two of 'em!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"Guys, I can't afford to be laid off."

Pope Benedict at Easter

At home with the Pope.

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

Some catholic like it hot

Christian Book Shop has sign saying 'We have Noah's Ark' whilst the Weather Bureau next door has sign saying 'You're gonna need it'.

'Well of course I believed, but I never really thought it was true.'

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

Confessional TV.

'Idiot.'

'Is it for your wife or your girl friend?'

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

Assignment - Review School Security.

Pope Benedict - Big Changes.

Homework.

The Anxious School Drop Off

'My mother signed my report card, but it got smudged by her tears.'

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

Father Ted Hughes.

Uncertain Future

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."