Roman Catholicism Gifts

Benedict XVI joins 'Facebook' and instructs his clergy to use all forms of modern technology to reach a wider audience.

Conclave.

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"The whole neighborhood has an opinion on who the next pope should be."

R.C.I.A.

"Last week, the orioles were passing out Baltimore catechisms. This week, it's the cardinals doing baptisms."

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

The Pope

John Newman

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

'...and another thing, Holy Father, do we call them the 'Falklands' or the 'Malvinas'?'

'I really do feel empowered. I should've joined a gang years ago.'

'Well, for the sake of argument, just pretend you've done something wicked.'

'You think you're pretty humble, don't you?'

'My God - there's two of 'em!'

Pope Francis

Quick Confessional Box - 8 sins or less.

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

A friar

'I really don't need to go to church, Reverend -- I feel guilty enough without it.'

Inside church reactions to the Pope's resignation...

At home with the Pope.

Pope Francis

'Yeah, but I'd like to be led into temptation just once, to see how I'd do.'

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

God is dead.

Some catholic like it hot

"Think about it. Have you ever seen an ugly cardinal—I mean, except at the Vatican?"

'All right - which country in Europe are you from?'

Daniel O'Connell

Death of the pope.

I'm not pontificiating, am I?

"It's rose, not pink...Because Jesus rose from the dead. He didn't pink from it."

The man who gave up utensils for Lent.