Educators Gifts

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'I got a detention for not wearing exactly the right uniform for my 'encouraging diversity' lessons.'

'Our new teacher's very ignorant. . .She's always asking questions.'

"I've finished my homework for the next seven years!"

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

The Evolution Of Man.

Before birds and bees,

School Bus for The Voucher School

Children Teaching Adults to Use Computers

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

Sex Education Class - "Today in class I'll be explaining where your babies come from."

Campaign for Plain English

"Now remember, children, if you get lost just show someone your hat, your t-shirt, your sign and your flag, and then say 'I'm from Central Elementary', just to make sure."

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'Today we learned how to make babies...You just change 'y' to 'i'...and add 'es'!'

'Hi, we're Tommy Canters parents. . . you might recognise us from his drawings of us??'

Glue teacher about scissors student: 'I really feel like he's about to cut class.'

Oh, dear! Another tragic case of math anxiety!

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

"Have we considered home schooling, if only for the less parental involvement?"

Gladstone wishing to punish Turkey whilst the Conservative government wishes to allow them to learn

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

'If your parents want you excused from tomorrow's film on pollination, you'll need a note from home.'

"Bye Honey, just taking Junior to school."

OK Corral.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

'It's our new policy...if the children don't turn up then the parents have to!'

Adult Training Centre: Problem solving for beginners.

Curriculum - Slavery 'Today in class you'll be learning all about the teaching profession.'

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

One student: 'It's been awhile since I last read a book.' The other student: 'What's a book?'

'You can be replaced by teaching software, you know!'

"We think he needs more individual neglect."