Educators Gifts

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'I got a detention for not wearing exactly the right uniform for my 'encouraging diversity' lessons.'

'Our new teacher's very ignorant. . .She's always asking questions.'

"I've finished my homework for the next seven years!"

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

The Evolution Of Man.

"Andy plays perfectly well with others - it's others who don't play well with Andy."

'At least $50 a sandwich board per week, multiplied by 800 students, it'll really help balance the school budget...'

Before birds and bees,

Children Teaching Adults to Use Computers

Sex Education Class - "Today in class I'll be explaining where your babies come from."

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

School Bus for The Voucher School

"That thing wasn't covered in my online medical degree program."

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

'Today we learned how to make babies...You just change 'y' to 'i'...and add 'es'!'

Campaign for Plain English

"Okay, I guess....first we had a lockdown drill, then we had an active shooter drill. Following that we had a fire drill. After that we got to meet out security guards. Then we watched a video on avoiding sexual predators...."

"Now remember, children, if you get lost just show someone your hat, your t-shirt, your sign and your flag, and then say 'I'm from Central Elementary', just to make sure."

"The teacher says I'm a poor listener, Dad. Will you raise my allowance?"

Curriculum - Slavery 'Today in class you'll be learning all about the teaching profession.'

"Have we considered home schooling, if only for the less parental involvement?"

'If your parents want you excused from tomorrow's film on pollination, you'll need a note from home.'

'It's our new policy...if the children don't turn up then the parents have to!'

With education costs on the rise, many schools are looking for alternative ways to raise funds.

Gladstone wishing to punish Turkey whilst the Conservative government wishes to allow them to learn

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

Adult Training Centre: Problem solving for beginners.

Oh, dear! Another tragic case of math anxiety!

"Bye Honey, just taking Junior to school."

One student: 'It's been awhile since I last read a book.' The other student: 'What's a book?'

Glue teacher about scissors student: 'I really feel like he's about to cut class.'

'You pay taxes so I can go to school? Hey, that's where you can save money.'

'Is THIS the way you plan to spend your peak learning years?'

OK Corral.