Catastrophe Commander Gifts

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

"I'm so good at this!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Help! (Woman stuck on washing line).

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"What the hell happened to this town?"

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Paper Trail

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

Venice Floods

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

'I think my husband's DIYed and gone to heaven.'

Repletion.

Desk bins contain fires to be put out.

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

'Your task will be to save the castle from catapulted rocks.'

The missiles had failed....so it was down to Frank....and plan B.

The art of fishing.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"Uh-oh...I fear this means trouble at the stock exchange!"

Cluster Catastrophe

'The good news is that it's only flat at the bottom.'

'I'm not stressed out. I'm stressed in.'

"Wow, I did not see that coming."

'I see you caught the fish, but the boat got away.'