Catastrophe Commentator Gifts

"If you cover your eyes, you can make it go away."

"Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about that?"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

Venice Floods

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"The economy always seems to be recovering, but it never recovers."

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

Chinese stock market

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Ukraine Crisis

War 2023

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

The bailout.

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

"What the hell happened to this town?"

"The good news is it's brightening up..."

Unconditional Surrender

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Euro fall...

"Now over to our healthcare correspondent."

Bank of Cyprus-sia

Suez Canal Curse

"Great news, things are looking up in Iraq!"

Man applying Eurobond glue to broken Piggy bank

The euro currency is a bomb.

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Agency Moody's comments

The End of the World is Nigh - man with placard

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

A Second Stimulus is Coming,

'Cancel your debt? How do you think I make my money?'