Cataclysmic Comedian Gifts

"Admit it, we're lost."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

The Origins of Everything

Science fiction fans on other planets

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Shoot For The Moon

Halo Frisbee.

The Older Testament: An Origin Story