Cataclysmic Comedian Gifts

"Admit it, we're lost."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

You too?! I go around feeling half asleep all the time also!

"Houston, we have a problem."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

'You caught it, you gut it!'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I've heard that seeing the earth from outer space can really change your perspective. I couldn't agree more."

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

'I don't know which was prettier - the meteor shower or the cascade of flaming space junk.'

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Science fiction fans on other planets

The Origins of Everything

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

Shoot For The Moon

'Boy, does this ever shoot holes in the old Big Bang Theory!'

Alien flies in a spaceship out of a postbox.

Halo Frisbee.

'No not there. Let's try it over here this time...'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"