Calamity Comedian Gifts

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Admit it, we're lost."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

'George! This way quick!'

"That explains all the cavities."

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Have food. Need toilet paper

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

'This will teach them to clean up after themselves after they camp in our woods!'

Boy makes a finger shadow on the tent.

'Sunday in the park'

Interpretive Dental Hygiene

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

"Ahoy!"

"Hold on, I'll make that coffee to go!"

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"What do you think? Would flaming marshmallows make good torches?"

'No. This is our top-of-the-line lightweight hiking tent. It's meant to be tight.

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

Zombie Camping Menu Planning

How scientists classify the Elements vs how students classify the Elements.

'I've lost my job, my wife and kids, the house, what the hell else could possibly go wrong?!"

Bull chasing campers, "You and your camping holidays for fresh air and excersize!"

'Meat again! That's the last dinosaur I kill.'

'John's ,um wouldn't have heard if I had said please and thank you - she was too busy shouting for help.'

'I see Mr. Invention is at it again -- we'd better start holding regular fire drills.'

Passive-aggressive mother bears were the worst.