Casualty Comedian Gifts

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'This is your lucky day!'

Basketball injuries.

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

'Guns Galore Inc' 'Prolong your Life'

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

Athlete

Cotton candy

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

"I said, you have to be active in your own rescue!"

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

"Okay scouts, that ends today's online soldering session!"

'It doesn't work...'

"And hold the mayo."

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'He's so unlucky that he gets into accidents that started happening to someone else.'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

Dual Airbags

"I did a risk assessment of the dangers of not doing a risk assessment, and decided it wasn't worth it."

Gingerbread man in Emergency room.

'Excuse me,Sir, but me and the rest of the work force think this dress code probably violates OSHA rules.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'They might satisfy Health and Safety, but I still think the Hi-Vis jackets send a mixed message.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"Well done!"

'I told you to wear your hard hat.'

The end is nigh.

Computer cables as fire ladder.