Clam Comedian Gifts

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Giraffe Selfie

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

Cat Reunion

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

Cat holds sign which says - Will purr for food.

'Oh, this will be good! He just putted into a sand trap...our litter box.'

Every class has one. . .

"I hate it..."

Litter Tray Stonehenge

Litter Box Logistics Ltd.

'Yeah, I'm a mouser.'

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

Artistic License

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"Ever wonder where all those cat videos come from?"

Of all the times for us to run in to team GB's Olympic synchronised swimming squad!

Man asks haughty looking cat: "And how, exactly, do you qualify as a spokesman for the feline community?"

'Who did you have lick your hair?'

Edith does ceramics strictly for her own amusement.

An angel bangs a broom on a cloud

Trash-talkin' artists

"Go deep!"

'And everybody expects me to be happy, which only makes things worse!'

Ten business commandments, city trading floor

"Then it's agreed. We'll sleep on it."

Before you feed him/After you feed him.

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

"Are you gentlemen ready to eat or would you like to bat your food around awhile?"

"Here he comes! Don't move."

Extra Absorbent Kitty Litter.