Comedy Clapper Gifts

"Go deep!"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

Theatre Crowd

If you're happy and you know it...

A Cow Striptease

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"The subwoofers really help."

Due To High Winds Crawling Is Banned Today

Myrtle and Moby never miss the annual RV migration.

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Tour guide: 'And there's where we'll be setting up camp folks. Just at the base of that foothill.'

Mountain escalator.

Hungry rabbit attacking carrot nose of snowman.

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

'In this practice we like to have the best of the old with the best of the new.'

'All right -- what did you jokers do with our pet Neanderthals?'

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

"Hey, you're not allowed to bait deer." (hunter trying to bait deer with a corn cob on a fishing hook, other hunter saying its not legal)

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

'It didn't start out this way.'

"Trimmed, but not so much that I can't claw up the furniture."

"Humm baby!! Let's go campy Lunar Colony!!!"

'SLIM, why don't you break down and buy a tackle box?'

'OK, wait until he grabs the twenty bucks, then set the hook!'

"Crap! There's a really big piece of tape!"

"Wow! That's incredible! I mean...how did you know I used to be a white guy?"

It's expensive, but I find the best lures are blue contact lenses.

"I don't know what it is, but there's something about them that really gives me the creeps."