Cat Whisperer Humor Gifts

"If that's another dead bird, we're not doing Christmas next year."

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Foster failure"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"Quick, start the car!"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Biofelineism

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

Dog Dreams

"Lucky, I Said Heel!"

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

Hush puppy.

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

Children's Feast.

Girl wags her pony tail as dog wags his tail.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."