Cat Whisperer Wannabe Gifts

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Quick, start the car!"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

Biofelineism

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

'You know too much!'

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Children's Feast.

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Cat Towels

"That is an outrageous slur."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'