Cat Whisperer Wannabe Gifts

"Wow! With this new device, now I can finally hear what you're thinking!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Quick, start the car!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Biofelineism

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Every night it's the same - always my turn to put the Bally Cat out!'

'You know too much!'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Children's Feast.

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"That is an outrageous slur."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"I'd go with you, but I'm a non-sporting breed."

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

Litter Tray Training