Cat Battler Gifts

"This sliver of afternoon sun ain't big enough for the both of us."

Cat in a tank...

"First date hairball... awkward."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"What part of 'giddyup' don't you understand?"

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Everybody on the internet now knows I'm a dog, so I'm pretending to be a cat.'

"It's the cat doc, he scares me."

Feline Stand Up - 'Fetching...how dumb is that? And another thing I don't understand...what's with all that TAIL WAGGING?'

'I can hold a match to his notebook.'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Sober Tooth Tiger

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

"Don't you worry about me. I always land on my feet."

"It slowly dawned on Edwin who exactly had stolen his steroids."

Bad times to sneeze

"Cat park"

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

'No, no, no. You guys are way off! This isn't even the cat. You guys are on the dog.'

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Wonders of evolution: Same face, totally different meaning.

'I'm sure they don't think you're really a bad kitty...just a kitty that sometimes does bad things.'

"I vow to never again bat around someone else's fuzzy mouse."

"I'm supposed to be loyal, relieve stress, be 'Man's best friend'...I don't need this kind of pressure!"

'I know what you're thinking.'

'(Sniff!)... Hey! Somebody stole my identity!'

Your Country Needs MOO!

'Well it's about time! My belly needs scratching.'

'Quick, act like a dog. My friend just busted us.'