Feline Fighter Gifts

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

Dogs running in their dreams

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Police Feline Unit

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'Do you have any catsup?'

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"Oh, yeah, that's the spot... just stay there... hurt so good... a little harder—yes! You are my hero, no kidding, I freaking love y-oooh..."

Ricky discovers only cartoon cats can fly.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'Wow, talk about shedding!'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

Fluffy explains her string theory.

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Pyramid catflap...

Cat mistakes bars for toilets.

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

'I just love that little fluffy grey kitten!'

Woman pins up a Lost Cat poster on a telegraph pole, but the cat is hiding from her behind the pole.

'I tried to organize a stampede, but everybody has their own agenda.'

"Get your polka-dot butt out of my leaves!"

Meowlzebub

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

South Carolina's War on Women

A Change of Scene.

"Cat park"

'I'm making you our receiving manager. Now, go fetch!'

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."