Finicky Feline Fighter Gifts

"The wings help. Now pick up the bowl and I'll chase it around the room a bit."

Mittens is challenged by the string.

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'We know you have a cat.'

Meowlzebub

"Oh, we've got to nip this little trick in the bud right away."

"The narrative seems contrived."

The ambush.

Cat on guitar

'Cat scans are for felines. I will give your dog a pet scan.'

"Have you seen what goes into that stuff?"

101 uses of a dead cat: rollerskates

'There's a cat in our yard! Release the hounds!'

'I know it doesn't look like much, but have you ever been shot in the face with a p****d off cat?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The Graeae

"She feeds me the same stuff every single day, yet I can't help approaching it like I have NO idea what it could possibly be!"

Cat boxer

"I can see it going even a little more feline."

Ginger was born to dance.

'Don't give me that 'hairball' excuse again. Just admit it - you don't like my cooking!'

'Guarding the house, bringing Master his newspaper and slippers does not require much skill, does it? Catching mice, on the other hand...'

Cat's Valentine

'Telling him he was going to be declawed was a bad idea. He decided to go out with a bang.'

"Where's your evidence?"

'Next please.'

"Me? A couple a' drinks and I thought the cat was a squeaky toy..."

"Stay sharp, wait for my signal and do not, no matter how tempting, pet that cat on the stomach!"

'I don't know - with all these feathers you'd think there'd be a bird in here somewhere.'

'No, they won't have kittens. They are brother and sister.'

"You haven't napped until you've napped on the hood of a '57 Chevy."

Treatment would eventually prove to be completely ineffective. And that for cats, being psychotic is perfectly normal.

'Did you make it look like a cover up?'