Cat And Mouse Humorist Gifts

"Wow, did I order Trojan Cheese?"

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Run, run, as fast as you can!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Hats and Food

"Yes, one is a dog."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

Fiscal cliff - US dollar falling over the edge.

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

Barbeque Casualty.

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

Cat Reunion

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Cats at private view

Dogs life

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."