Mouse Humorist Gifts

Abandoned baby with note is left by mouse hole.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Yes, one is a dog."

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Hats and Food

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Fish with a human in a bowl.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

Dogs life

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

"Yep. Looks like we have ringworm."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."