Casual Cynics Gifts

'Do I have to say a prayer even if I don't need anything?'

Rich man vomiting euros to a beggar.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

Unhappy man with 'rabbit-ear' fingers behind his head.

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

'I'm still employed, but to save on utility costs, they offshored me.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

Bartender, there's a human finger in my beer. Today's comics readers are pretty jaded, sir. They're no longer shocked by a fly in a bowl of soup.

Bush vs. America

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'You'll have to excuse my husband - he's got compassion fatigue.'

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

"I'm not gonna take my grievances to the street anymore, but I sure will take them to Facebook!"

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

If there's one thing I've learned, it's this: Never trust someone who tries to sell you nine life insurance policies.

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

"Oh, the usual bills and a friendly reminder from Satan that there's a special place in Hell reserved just for us, but only if we ACT NOW, blah, blah, blah."

Sucking Up to Gen X

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Our government is comprised of three branches - politicians, lobbyists, and the media.'

The Ekert Saga: '...A place where people are always unhappy no matter how well things are going? Ah! Got it...Go to Fenway Park in Boston.'

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

'The following program may not be suitable for those of you who are sick and tired of politics....'

"You can't put a price on all those years of marriage." "Au contraire!"

Corrupted Politicians

Mail & Political lies.

"Did he give it all to the poor, or just the after salary and expenses part?"

"The difference between criminal geniuses and politicians is none of them are geniuses."

"I want a campaign that shows the brand's empathetic, inclusive and caring side - or you're all fired."