Castaway Philosophers Gifts

Emergency Phone.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Future Tents

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Lost and forgotten department

Quiet!

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

Interior Monologuist

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

'Bloody warmongers!'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'I forgot to turn on the gravity this morning.'

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"Can he call you back? He's meditating."

"The way I see it, angst is the whole gestalt."

101 desert island jokes.

Desert Island Empty Except For Nixon Sign

Probation Officer

"I can't find my chi!"

Wounds...

'Houston, I think we have a problem...'

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

'My five-year plan is pretty solid, but it gets a little fuzzy after that.'

Man arriving at airport sees a monitor with rescheduled debt on it!

Hope through the prison bars.

"Wait a minute. Which one of us is in jail and which one is visiting?"

I don't believe in god. So you're atheist or agnostic? Huh? You're certain there's no god or you're not sure? HOJ. I'm not sure. You're not sure about my question or if there's a god? O' lord, why do you torment me?! Adding further confusion.