Castaway Philosophers Pillows

Emergency Phone.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Future Tents

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Would you mind terribly taking up some other sport besides long-distance running?'

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Lost and forgotten department

'I am not, metaphysically speaking, as loopy as you seem to believe.'

'Bloody warmongers!'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

Interior Monologuist

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

"The universal remote. That's how God rules the universe."

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'I forgot to turn on the gravity this morning.'

"Can he call you back? He's meditating."

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

Probation Officer

...Then they got me on some trumped up morals charge.

Desert Island Empty Except For Nixon Sign

'Houston, I think we have a problem...'

101 desert island jokes.

"I can't find my chi!"

"The way I see it, angst is the whole gestalt."

'My five-year plan is pretty solid, but it gets a little fuzzy after that.'

Man arriving at airport sees a monitor with rescheduled debt on it!

Hope through the prison bars.

"Every password I've ever had."