Marooned Philosopher Gifts

Desert Island Empty Except For Nixon Sign

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

Emergency Phone.

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

Goldfish bowl on raft...

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

Lost and forgotten department

"Don't just sit there. Build a boat!"

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."

"If someone says they're a leader and no one hears it, is it true?"

Interior Monologuist

'You're not really into this, are you Mahoney?'

MAN OF THE YEAR, 'You must come here a lot.'

"Well, I suppose it'll have to do."

"I keep forgetting it's not Christmas,"

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

"I dreamed my parents were still alive."

Deepwater Fish

'Forty-eight felony counts have taught me not to try to do everything myself.'

'Something is bothering you Roger. A wife can tell.'

"Face it, Gail. We've drifted apart."

The great Dessert Island.

'Does this bed have a sleep number?'

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"Can he call you back? He's meditating."

'You're all worked up for nothing. Just surface for a second and get some fresh air!'

'The trouble with you is you've got an island mentality.'

If a fish farts in the ocean and no one is there to smell it, does it still stink?

"I can't find my chi!"

Probation Officer