Broke Philosopher Gifts

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

"I AM at my usual position."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

Lost and forgotten department

"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."

Elderly man at top of stairs with a revolver and an axe: 'I've completely forgotten why I came upstairs.'

"2 glasses of wine at lunch, I think I'm Socrates..."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

The brain cell that was suppose to help me remember.

"Listen up - today is the first day in the rest of the coronavirus crisis!"

"Honey, I'll be right back – I forgot to stop at the bar on the way home."

I've come back here to remember what I forgot in the first place.

Interior Monologuist

'All I hope for is that the weekdays don't ruin my weekend.'

'Do you need me to remind you when your wife's birthday is too?'

'If you keep running away, son, you'll never make it through your formative years.'

'I'm not seeking any answers . . .I don't know anything . . . I'm just lazy!'

"Now, what am I here for?"

"Don't let the new boss catch you having a cigarette break...there's a rumour he watches his staff like a hawk!"

'What do you mean, 'Land Ahoy!'? We're just trading Fishing Season for Hunting Season.'

'Don't do today what you can leave for tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, next week or until someone else does it for you.'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"Beats hanging around the water cooler."

"I forgot to pay the light bill. I swear, I would forget my head if it wasn't screwed on."

Walt's train of thought left at 9:05. He wasn't on it.

Annual Amnesiacs Convention.

'I feel so... lethargic. Well, I would be if I could be bothered.'

Desert Island Empty Except For Nixon Sign

'He's forgotten his key again!'

"I totally wiped out on my bike."

"We allow him to use the vending machine as his desk. He was making so many trips to it it only made sense."