Love-struck Philosopher Gifts

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Nihilistic customer service"

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Don't believe in labels."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

'Well, your photosynthetic stuff was a lot more peaceful.'

Early Man Late Man

'All I know is that when life hands you a lemon, you're supposed to make lemonade...is there such a thing as curveballade?'

'Get an afterlife!'