Love’s Philosopher Gifts

"A heart transplant is not an option for a broken heart, Ms. Martin!"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

When two philosophers date. So

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"Nihilistic customer service"

Et in Arcadia Ego

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Free speech isn't cheap!

"Moulting"

Conference on the Control of Time and Space. Left to Right: Isaac Newton, Aristotle, HG Wells, Ptolemy,Isaac Asimov, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Copernicus.

Scurile travels

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."