Love’s Philosopher Pillows

"A heart transplant is not an option for a broken heart, Ms. Martin!"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Corporate departments as a metaphor for growing up.

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"Hello - I'm from the future..."

"Nihilistic customer service"

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

"It's always the same: We go eons without seeing each other, I think I'm finally over it, and then...WHAM! I get pulled into her orbit again!"

"Moulting"

Et in Arcadia Ego

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Free speech isn't cheap!

Scurile travels

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Don't believe in labels."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'