Luck-challenged Philosopher Gifts

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

"Could I ask just one question?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

"If x is the set of all men that love you, then I am a member of x."

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

Free speech isn't cheap!

Annual Swim Hundreds of Miles, Spawn and Die Marathon.

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Et in Arcadia Ego

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"Don't believe in labels."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

"Remember that '70s TV show 'What's Happening'!? Did they ever come up with an answer?" "I don't know, but it makes me wonder if Marvin Gaye found out what's going on." "The black hole of cannabis-induced queries"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"Think of it as one less thing to worry about."

Thought bubble mirrors the cloud in the sky.