Casino Regular Gifts

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Mega Casino.

'Will you make the final table?'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"Rump roast?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'How about a game of cards?'

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

"And would you like flies with that?"

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

I wish I'd had the review.