Casino Regular Gifts

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Mega Casino.

'Will you make the final table?'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'I never should have ordered the diet platter.'

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

"Rump roast?"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'How about a game of cards?'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Wait, those crunchy, cheesy little fish thingies are free?!"

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

'I don't like to take chances.'

"I know my drinking limits.The problem is that I can never reach them - I simply fall down."

"I'll have the barbecued half-pounder, with all the ramifications."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"We have; pulled pork, enticed chicken, persuaded lamb, bullied beef, cajoled Turkey..."

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'The beef has been genetically modified to make it taste like a more expensive cut.'

I wish I'd had the review.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"And would you like flies with that?"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Dog in casino.