Betting Shop Regular Gifts

"He wants the money back that he lost on the 2014 Soccer World Cup."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

'It's ok Billy . . .I won a bet with principal Jones!'

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

Post Game Day Betting.

Boss, customers are asking why you've doubled prices. I'm just being fair. When the cost of coffee beans go up, everyone thinks I'm justified in raising the price of coffee. But cost increases come in all shapes and sizes. What about my new 80" tv? What about my new car note? What about my manservant I just imported from London? I dream of the day when all costs can be passed on to customers equally. Greed is not a civil right issue!

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Something nocturnal."

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

'I love Brahms' 2nd Symphony in A minor, especially the part where it pauses and the voice says, 'Please hold for the next available broker'.'

'Hey, we're doing an office pool on who gets to bust that illegal card game on Main.'

"Watch out for the linebacker over the middle and the guy in section 7 whose point spread you ruined."

Spot the Ball connoisseur

'No Sandra, I don't hear a whistle either. '

'Sorry ... I'm having a 'bad hair' day.'

Game Hen on a Downward Spiral: 'What the hell. I ain't no chicken! I'm bettin' it all!'

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

I lost a bet with the cat.

I'm going to say my prayers. Should I play the same lotto numbers?

'Don't put any money on him. I saw him placing a bet on the favourite.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

'Ere Bert, what do I do with a lady who wants an each way bet on the boat race?'

'There...now you'll fit in with the other plucked turkeys, er, footballers.'

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Excuse me, but you're standing in the way of progressive."

Did you have to bring your chicken?

"I'll be glad when I get rid of this handover!"

Try our bottomless cup of coffee!

"Don't waste your money,dearie-there's only one score draw next Saturday!"

'I expect he wishes he'd bet differently now...?'