Casino Gifts

"Just lend me a little bit more. I feel lucky"

"Well, at least you didn't lose your shirt in there."

'C'mon square root of 49!'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Tonto Casino.

Casino - We never lose.

'I think you're in the wrong room...'

'Betcha I recover before you do.'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

'It was nothing personal, Joe. I merely asked whether a card was missing.'

'I was groped, rolled and cursed at by a bunch of losers. How was your day?'

Island one armed bandit.

"Sorry miss, no split bets please."

"Do all your casinos have these?"

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

"Don't you feel awful losing $200, Tia Carmen?"

Betting machines

'That's a fruit machine, the ATM is over there.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"He has a tell."

Blackjack Shuffle

Hospitality industry turning to casinos.

An affair to remember.

Gambler's Luck

Casino. Why do casinos call this "gaming"? Because from their perspective there's no gambling involved.

Dopamine Casino

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Dogs and their thoughts

Little league world series of poker.

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

'How about a game of cards?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'