Casino King Gifts

'You'll never get a job in a supercasino if you don't pass your maths.'

"The last thing I would do is gamble away your hard earned money."

'Twenty quid will be great, I'll give you it back on Thursday when I get my Giro.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Counting ribs

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Homo Gamus

Running

Exercise Class

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

Man is caught swimming on an inflable float in a moat by the knights.

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

Man running

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

Nordic Career-Trak

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

Paul Bocuse caricature

"My compliments to Mummy!"

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."