Casino King T-Shirts

'You'll never get a job in a supercasino if you don't pass your maths.'

"The last thing I would do is gamble away your hard earned money."

'Twenty quid will be great, I'll give you it back on Thursday when I get my Giro.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Counting ribs

"Where do we put Desserts?"

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

Homo Gamus

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Exercise Class

Running

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Whistler's Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandson

'One more hangover like this and I'm going to have to claim for sickness during holiday absence.'

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

"So are you can't cook or won't cook?"

Man running

'Dear, could you hold it down to a light snow flurry?'

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

Nordic Career-Trak

'It's called fire...it recycles wood.'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

"Oh, Irwin, I wish to god you'd get rid of that thing!"

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

"My compliments to Mummy!"

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"Oh, aye - he's never slow at stepping up to the plate."

"In my workout this morning I hit a new personal best, but on a seasonally adjusted basis, my numbers actually fell."