Casino Goer Gifts

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you win.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Addicted gambler.

Casino - We never lose.

'Another hit?' 'I'll stay.'

'Gladys, put your money away. It's not a casino.'

'I'm pretty sure 'hit me' is all he can say. I don't think he really wants another card.'

'Dr Yomp's laxatives works for you, and loosens up the slots at the casino!'

Casino - featuring pre-owned cigarette smoke.

I'm not a gambler. I just blow on these dice and they keep serving me drinks.

Monkey casino study.

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

"Be sure to check out the rides. They're free, too, with the purchase of tickets."

Dog in casino.

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

'A rose tattoo for your lady friend sir?...' A female Tattooist offering a rose tattoo, in the way of the old Rose Ladies in clubs and pubs

Trilby - 'Bonjour, Suzon!'

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"I stand corrected. Hard as you try, sometimes you just can't find the humor in a situation."

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'