Cinema Goer Gifts

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'He has been like that ever since he had a small part in 'Finding Nemo'!'

"When you said lets go and watch a film on the big screen I thought you meant at the cinema."

"I wish my life were as exciting as those movies!"

"I knew the Titanic would sink, so I told everybody. Then they kicked me out of the cinema."

Power of the Dog

Texas Wood Chipper Massacre

'Scary movie?'

"I hate films with subtitles!"

"I'll say it was good. There were times I even stopped looking at my phone."

Anyone seen Stuart Little?

There will now be an interval while the film comes back on.

'No wonder you can't see it properly - you've got your reading glasses on under the 3D glasses!'

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

'My Barry hates horror films.'

Popcorn: Large £6, Medium £4, Scooped Up Off the Floor £1.

This movie cost $300 million and you're surprised by the price of popcorn?

'He could not have been hempier with the fozy oxheart.'

'Sometimes I like to dunk mine in a nice hot cup of coffee.'

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

"It's finally happened - Tom Hanks was in every movie this year."

Cineplex. Now Showing. It's a romantic comedy with zombies. Ah, a zoo-rom-com!

"I can't watch the gory part."

Should We All Go To The Movies?

"I never realized they had feelings."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."