Movie Goer Gifts

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'Sorry, sir, you can't take that bucket of raw meat in - have to buy all food from our snack bar.'

Mantis chick flicks

"Sit down Fred!"

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Theatre Masks and Butts

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'It was great. I hated it.'

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

'Oh, nothing, just babysitting the Lord of the Rings.'

'How's this new concept? Instead of a gunfight, the hero overpowers the villian with a heartfelt homily on the sanctity of family values.'

'It was a play on words...and a bad one at that!'

Swan Lake's Odette and Siegfried

"Why don't you just go and see this summer's feel-good movie?"

'Personally, I love your script, but Rex is pretty certain he smells a bomb!'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

A mummy, in police tape, chases a police officer.

'I don't have enough. How much to se it in 2-D?'

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"I'd leave Redford for George Clooney in a hartbeat."

Cinemuck

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'