Movie Theater Goer Gifts

'...please switch of all mobile phones, paging devices and alarm watches...'

Human Flesh Eaters: A Romance Comedy.

'Waste of twenty quid.'

Pirate

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

Theatre Masks and Butts

Little Buttercup HMS Pinafore

'It was great. I hated it.'

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

'It was a play on words...and a bad one at that!'

The opera - 'Please, sir, give us your ticket, if you ain;t a-goin' in again.'

Swan Lake's Odette and Siegfried

"Is it 'Measure once, cut twice?' Or 'Cut once, then measure?' Or maybe it's..."

'I just got the medium popcorn this time.'

"Don't go in there!!"

Cinemuck

Forensic evidence now proves that the shots in the balcony weren't meant for the President, but rather the show's cast.

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

Amanda Seyfried

"Damn it, Persky! I ask you for a fiercely choreographed rite of destruction and rebirth, and you give me a febrile study of dehumanized angst."

"Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by a string of great hollywood blockbusters."

'On the mathematics vaudeville circuit...' 'Fermat's last theorem - big deal! He only had two theorems!'

Miggs's short-lived joy

'I tell you I smell Limburger.'

You are very important to me!

Wotan with eye patch

Raging Bull on Ice

Fire starts at magic show while audience participant is left behind.

Cinema. Save me a seat, dear, behind you.

BLEAK PROSPECTS: DOWNSIZING FOR THE NINETIES

Movie Rated 'R' - Audience Rates 'X'.

"Those who can can, dance."

The clown loses it at the circus and takes the 'fat lady' hostage with a cream pie 'I'm not clowning this time, back-off or the fat-lady gets it!'