Cinema-going Gifts

Filmgoers wear 3D glasses. Man with different coloured glasses says: 'I'm wearing 4D glasses, so I have also just seen the beginning and end of the universe.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Horror movies

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Housekeeping?!"

Steve McQueen

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Theatre Crowd

'Play it again, Sam.'

Applause

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."