Cinema-going Gifts

Filmgoers wear 3D glasses. Man with different coloured glasses says: 'I'm wearing 4D glasses, so I have also just seen the beginning and end of the universe.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

'There's nothing on.'

"Bloody hell!"

"Hugh fans!"

"The Eggsorcist"

Steve McQueen

What's an Imax cave?

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

Theatre Crowd

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

"Housekeeping?!"

Applause

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"