Casino Trip Gifts

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'How about a game of cards?'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

'I don't like to take chances.'

Dog in casino.

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

Slug roulette

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

The Echoes at Killarney

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Destination casinos...

'My wife encourages this. She thinks I'm playing the Russian version.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Are we there yet?'

'I'll see your Social Security Supplement and raise you Medicare and a Canadian pharmacy ID.'

Tonto Casino.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

"It looked different on the internet."

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"It's kind of hard to know where these photos were taken: The backgrounds are very similar..."

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

Visit Las Vegas! The city that never sleeps' ot even takes a nap!: 'Because of competition, they had to raise the ante!'

'I think winning that last hand went to Bob's head, because he now has an entourage.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."