Casino Visits Gifts

Gambling was in his blood. Couldn't help it - he had an irregular heartbeat. Even his pulse was impulsive.

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'Insurance?'

'A fool and his money are soon parted - he was only here for ten minutes.'

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

'It's my money management system.'

'Of course I have your loyalty card - I'm loyal to every casino in town.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'As we can all see, Jimmy has a slight lead, $157,860 to $157,495.'

'I thought you could count cards.' - 'I did count them. There were 52 in each deck.'

'Yeah, just like the ad said - they have more blackjack tables than any other casino.'

Dice Cubes

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

"Absolutely worth it."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vintage? What would you like it to be?"

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

Stockwell's day

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

Mistaken identity.