Casino Visits T-Shirts

Gambling was in his blood. Couldn't help it - he had an irregular heartbeat. Even his pulse was impulsive.

'Insurance?'

'A fool and his money are soon parted - he was only here for ten minutes.'

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

'It's my money management system.'

'Of course I have your loyalty card - I'm loyal to every casino in town.'

'Our ceiling is under repair--sorry.'

'As we can all see, Jimmy has a slight lead, $157,860 to $157,495.'

'I thought you could count cards.' - 'I did count them. There were 52 in each deck.'

'Yeah, just like the ad said - they have more blackjack tables than any other casino.'

Dice Cubes

Site of new Super Gamblers Anonymous.

'I'm not sure, but I think illegal gambling is when you WIN.'

"Absolutely worth it."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"Can you come back? We're still counting carbs."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

Wild Weather Ride - 2005.

'Waiter, could I have some more water right away?'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Stockwell's day

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'You don't have to drive around. We bring the food to your table.'

Mistaken identity.

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"This time when they show us their latest acquisition, we'll gush regardless."

"Great God Almighty! Somebody please wake me up and tell me I'm only dreaming that the chicken marsala costs a whopping twenty-eight ninety-five!"

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

"What do you recommend today?"

I'll try the cod surprise.